The Tower is Falling... and That's a Good Thing
Over in the Land of TikTok, I feature a “Card of the Week” every Monday/Tuesday. It’s a single tarot card to focus on throughout the week as we go through the daily grind and hustle. This is something I do for myself every day, but I pay particular attention to the Card of the Week since it’s something I share with the public… or if it’s a particularly dramatic one. It really couldn’t have been more dramatic than last week’s pull—The Tower. It’s also probably the most fitting one that could’ve popped up.
Pictured: Images of The Tower from The Dreamkeepers Tarot; Starspinner Tarot; and the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith tarot decks.
Nobody wants to see The Tower appear in their reading. It’s not a fun card, and there’s really no way to get around the fact that its meaning (in any orientation) has to do with disaster. Maybe in reverse, you just barely missed averting crisis, but even that interpretation is generous. The bottom line of The Tower is that chaos and massive change is coming (or has already).
In contrast to the Death card, The Tower typically refers to change coming from outside oneself—it’s sudden, usually unwanted, and typically life-altering. Whereas Death can refer to a person choosing to shed things that no longer serve them (i.e. all the toxic bullshit that weighs you down), The Tower signifies the ripping away of stability and the things you love. It’s forceful, painful, and typically brutal. It alters the way you look at life and requires you to pick up the pieces if you want to rebuild.
No one really wants that. Sure; maybe you’d like to see a major shift in the way things are, but very few of us want that shake up to occur without our direction. We typically want to maintain some sense of control, but The Tower tears that away from you.
Sometimes, that’s exactly what a person needs. And when I say “a person,” I suppose I mean me.
I’ve written about it here and lamented on social media more than is necessary, but my life took a hard turn left without a clutch this year. After 6+ years in a pressure-cooker career, my brain and body gave out. I had to quit, not just because I was burnt out, but because my body literally would not allow me to function if I continued. It wasn’t something I chose to do. Instead, life swept in and washed it out to sea. That’s when the lightning hit The Tower. I just didn’t realize that the rest of my carefully crafted life would begin to crumble in its wake as well.
Without listing off the wild series of events that followed my unavoidable resignation in gory detail, it’s safe to say that many of the things I’d always dreaded financially did indeed occur in quick order. From health crises to the rising cost of living (which all Americans are battling at present), it was the worst time to lose a steady paycheck. Nothing went the way I’d planned, but I leaned into the sparkly notion that the Universe was going to take care of things in one way or another. And It is… just not exactly how I anticipated nor in a way that I can see clearly from my current vantage point. Because what I didn’t see coming was the upheaval of my life beyond dollar signs.
My marriage toppled after that lightning strike. Ten years with the certificate, twelve spent together… and then it was gone. There were rumbles long before the storm arrived, but they’d always been far in the distance.
When something like this happens, it’s too complex to detangle and force blame. You can try, but you’re not being honest with yourself when you do that. I’m not going to attempt to pull apart how/why my relationship got to this stage because it doesn’t matter for the overall point. The fact is, my life was pushed over like it was a game of Jenga, and the pieces still haven’t landed.
So, here we are… The Tower is still falling; it’s still in mid-motion.
How is this in any way a good thing, you ask? The Tower doesn’t appear to have an upside.
It does. It’s just not in the way you’d expect.
I mentioned the Death card before, and there’s a good reason. For me, The Tower and Death have always gone hand-in-hand. Where Death *can* be an internal change made by choice, it also awaits at the bottom of the crumbling Tower. No matter how you splice and dice the meanings, there will most certainly be a death of something (if not a great many things) following The Tower’s collapse. When you hit the ground, things won’t be the same. That’s where Death comes in.
Pictured: The Death card from the Ethereal Visions tarot deck
Death is a curious card. It’s the one most frequently depicted (wrongly) in films and TV where the spooky tarot reader foretells the main character’s impending doom. Sure; Death is scary. It’s uncomfortable. It’s world-altering in one way or the other. But Death also offers transformation and rebirth. From the ashes of suffering, we are able to reemerge.
Whereas The Tower’s destruction was out of your control, you have a choice with how you will handle Death. Will you move on? Grow stronger? Accept the change you just underwent to become a new version of yourself having learned from the losses you just experienced? Or will you allow mourning and grief to overpower you and block your forward progression? It’s entirely up to you.
And that’s what comforts me as I swan dive out of The Tower. I can see that when I land in the rubble, Death will be there waiting patiently. Once the dust settles, it’s up to me to take stock of what pieces of myself should remain and what should be discarded. It’s my decision how I learn from the fall and how I rise back up. It’s not easy, but I will eventually be able to meet the “new” me even if I am sporting a few more battle scars. I will be wiser; stronger; and if I’m patient, more loving to both myself and others.
So, what does anyone do when they’re mid-fall off The Tower? Well, for me, I write. I channel the fear and pain into creativity. Therein lies healing and a way of coping with the chaos. I create worlds that both protect me and allow me to process what’s happening as the floor falls from beneath me. I’m exceptionally fortunate to be a writer and have this beautiful outlet. I think I would’ve lost my mind entirely a long time ago if I didn’t.
As it happens, my debut novel NOWHERE is indeed about a marriage and family in crisis, their world torn apart following the destruction of the life they once knew.
I received my first developmental notes from my incredible editor literally the day after my partner and I separated, and it couldn’t have been better timing—seriously. Not only am I now able to slip back into a story I’ve loved for years, I’m also able to approach it with a little more insight than I have before. I understand the characters’ struggles better; I feel their sorrow more than ever; I relate to their free fall from The Tower as we all topple together.
Pictured: New nightmares cooking in my brain :)
Additionally, this experience is sparking new story ideas and pulling forward characters I’d never know without the destruction taking place around me. I’m invigorated and inspired by their complexity and am happy to have them along for the ride, even if they are immensely flawed. So am I. And for that, I couldn’t be more grateful.
With every day; every breath; every loss; every win; every relationship; every single moment, we’re granted opportunities to see the world differently. As creatives, I think we’re lucky to be able to translate those experiences to our art and shape something from what appears to be wreckage. We make sorrow approachable, relatable, and worth it. We craft beauty out of our joy and spread it around. We breathe life into characters and places, lyrics and music, canvases and clay using our own lives as the foundation. What an incredible gift that is!
Here’s to the fall. Here’s to the landing. Here’s to death, and here’s to rebirth. Cheers, my friends!
~Allison
